Kobe and Me
I always hated Kobe Bryant. My first exposure to him came in the form of an 8-year-old basketball fan watching him lose the 2008 NBA Finals to the Boston Celtics. As a kid from Chicago, I hated both of these teams; neither team winning made me happy. However, I had only recently become interested in sports. My 2007 was a year spent watching children’s television from the 1990’s and SportsCenter reruns. The off days I could get home early enough to watch “Around the Horn'' were truly special for me; that being said, Kobe Bryant was an ever present figure during this time in NBA history, and rightly so. The previous few years of his career, post Shaq, were marred with his Los Angeles Lakers being startlingly mediocre. Then Pau Gasol came and things changed. Eventually he wins two straight titles, but for that moment, watching that guy lose, that guy I hated for no reason other than him being a Los Angeles Laker, it was spectacular. I absolutely reveled in it, and for the next nine years of my life I loved to hate that man. Watching him toil on those godawful Lakers teams at the end of his career gave me nothing but joy.
Did I respect the time he blew out his achilles tendon and then walked back onto the court to nail two free throws? Of course I did. To this day that is easily the most cold-blooded thing I have ever seen on the hardwood. Nothing fueled me more than hate as a young basketball fan - and a sports fan - in general: hatred for Kobe, hatred for all things Packers. Emperor Palpatine would have been proud. I could go on for another three paragraphs about the enjoyment I took out of the various mishaps Bryant had towards the end of his career, but that is not what this article is about. This is about the day my hatred for Kobe Bean Bryant turned into respect, and eventually admiration.
April 13, 2016 was the day Kobe Bryant played his last game in the National Basketball Association. On this day, the Golden State Warriors were going for their historic 73rd win of the season. If they beat the Grizzlies, they would own one of the most coveted team records in sports. As a Bulls fan and a Golden State Supporter, I was very invested in the game. (And yes, by the way, I did jump on the Golden State bandwagon, but I did it in 2015 so get off my back.) For about three quarters, I watched that Golden State game, rarely switching to the Lakers game to see how Kobe was doing; I cared on a surface level but not more than I cared about how my neighbors dog was doing. It was cute, and I wanted it to be happy and healthy but I wasn't about to check in on it daily.
Then the fourth quarter rolled around, and something changed; I found myself glued to the Lakers game. The Warriors were drawing ever closer to their magical 73rd win, but all I could do was watch Kobe Bryant drain shot after shot. Bryant went 7 for 20 in the first half, and 7 for 14 in the third quarter. As I look at the box score for the first time since the night of the game, he only went 8 for 16 in the fourth quarter. I say “only” because if someone told me he went 13 for 22 in that quarter I would have believed them. He scored 23 points, but if someone told me he dropped 36 of his 60 in the fourth, I’d have believed them too. Kobe Bryant was mesmerizing in that fourth quarter. Watching Bryant step up to the free throw line with 58 points, I found myself actively rooting for my second least favorite player in the league (and perhaps of all time). I leaned forward on my bed, I clenched my fists, and all I wanted to see was this evil entity score 60 points. And that’s exactly what he did; Gordon Hayward made sure of that. In true “Black Mamba” fashion, Bryant dropped 60 points on 22 of 50 shooting, and for the first time there was no criticism of ball-hogging. Not from me, my NBA-nut of a cousin, a single analyst on TV, no one. Not a soul dared to criticize the performance we had just seen from the 37-year-old NBA legend.
It was in that moment I realized what had just happened to my personal NBA galaxy. The league had just lost its best villain. It’s like when Dave Bautista retired from the WWE; sure many people hated him, but you were sad to see him go. It was the same thing with Kobe Bryant. The league was just a little more empty, a little less interesting when there’s no fear of the Mamba striking on any given night.
As the next couple years went on, Kobe Bryant maintained a presence in the greater worlds of sports and entertainment. He was relevant from a social media perspective, from a business perspective, and from an entertainment perspective. He retired from the NBA and somehow became more famous, and won accolades most people could only dream of, particularly his Academy Award. The more I found myself having debates about NBA history, the more I found myself making cases for Kobe Bryant. There was no reason for that; I never loved the man like most LA fans. Yet when I compile a list of the top 50 NBA players of all time, I find myself doing everything in my power to put him in the top ten. (The verdict is still out on that one.) I hated the man when he was playing. Yet for some reason, years after he was done playing, I found myself falling for him like that girl in high school who was always shitty to other people. Your ex always hated her, and you did too. God, she wasn’t even that attractive to you, especially not when your best friend dated her, but that was always his type and not yours, so you don’t begrudge the guy. Before you know it, your ex becomes your ex, and you’re holding this girl’s hand in a friend’s home theater while watching Kingsmen, and you can’t believe this person you barely even looked at for years is now someone who will inevitably break your heart, because that’s what they all do! Perhaps a personal analogous feeling, but I swear, it’s perfectly descriptive.
While maybe I did get too personal there, the analogy fits surprisingly well, because for a few years, I fell in love. With the girl and with Kobe Bryant. I listened to his appearance on The Corp with Alex Rodriguez and Dan “Big Cat” Katz, and I liked his posts on social media, the posts with his children, but just like the girl, Kobe Bryant broke my heart. Much like when the girl broke my heart, I cried. Kobe Bryant had no right to have as much of an impact on me as he did, but that’s what the great ones do. They worm their way into your mind and heart, and you either live with them forever or they leave and break you.
Kobe Bryant should be at home with his wife and three children. Kobe Bryant should get to hug his two-year-old baby. Kobe Bryant should get to watch his oldest daughter graduate from college. Kobe Bryant should get to do an interview with ESPN after Gianna gets taken first overall in the 20-whatever WNBA draft. Instead, some asshole is sitting at his computer making analogies about his ex like anyone cares. Kobe Bryant should get to hold his family and tell them all how much he loves them. He should get to do it today, tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that until he dies of natural causes at 189 years old. Kobe Bryant should get to be at his Hall of Fame induction ceremony.
This whole thing sucks. I wish there was a more poetic way for me to phrase that. I wish there was some grandiose statement I could make about life and tragedy but it is 12 A.M., and I am emotionally drained. My fingers hurt, and my brain is fried. Kobe Bryant meant so much to so many; he was an NBA legend. He was a successful entrepreneur. He was charismatic, funny, and just generally too talented for any to be genuinely human, but above all of that, and I’m sure he would say this as well, he was a man who loved and would do anything for his family.
Kobe Bryant deserved better, because we sure as hell didn’t deserve him. Rest in Power, Kobe Bryant. You will be missed more than you could ever know.
Author’s Note - Yes, I am aware of the Denver thing. I was 5 when that happened, and I really do not feel like researching the issue so soon after the man’s death. Obviously, that situation is to be taken seriously. No criminal charges were brought against him, but I’m sure the out-of-court civil settlement was for a large amount of money and not for no reason. This is about remembering the man he was when he died, not the man he was when he was 25. People grow and change and make mistakes and I’m sure at least half of the people reading this have a secret they wouldn’t want getting out either because its either against the law or should be. Judge not lest ye be judged, and that’s all I have to say about that.