Wrapping Up: NFL Week 12
I spoke too soon. Last week I started this article off by saying that the NFL is undefeated, because even in the weeks where it looks like the slate is terrible, we get unexpectedly good games. This week there were three good games by my estimation. What an absolutely brutal week of NFL football. The intrigue was gone, only two match-ups made any real difference for what will be happening in January, and Wednesday midday football is just as bad as you think it is.
Before I get too deep into all of the meaningless games the NFL subjected the viewing public to this week, a quick note on the structure of this article. The last time I did this I realized there is absolutely no reason for me to go into detail about every single game. Much like with my Premier League wrap up, many of the games just do not warrant even three sentences of discussion. They were either blow outs, tank bowls, or meaningless games with meaningless outcomes that should be noted and nothing more. It saves both my time and yours. So going forward roughly half to two thirds of the games every week will be rattled off at the start of the article, in paragraph form. Onto the trash wars we go!
The Houston Texans and the Washington Football Team both dropped forty-one points on the Detroit Lions and Dallas Cowboys respectively in Thanksgiving day wins. God wept. On Sunday the New Jersey Jets mustered up a whole three points to the Miami Dolphins twenty. This went as expected. The Cleveland Browns eked one out over the Jacksonville Sad-uars twenty-seven to twenty-five. Don’t let the score fool you, this game was absolutely awful. The Buffalo Bills beat the Los Angeles Chargers by ten points. Good for Buffalo is all I have to say on this one. The Falcons hung forty-three points on the Las Vegas Raiders. I, along with the whole of the NFL fandom, is baffled. The New Orleans Saints dominated the Denver Broncos in a game that every single person saw coming as soon as every quarterback for Denver was declared out for the game. The Green Bay Packers continue to put the Chicago Bears over their knee and spank our little bottoms over and over again. This time I wept. The Seattle Seahawks beat the Philadelphia Carson Wentz’s to remind us all that a team in the NFC East will win that division and occupy a playoff spot. Finally, Wednesday midday football happened, the Pittsburgh Steelers are 11-0 and nothing else about today matters. Onto the games that did not leave me an emotionless void of sadness!
Arizona Cardinals 17 - New England Patriots 20
That Kyler Murray ranking I did not too long ago aged poorly very quickly. Kyler looked mediocre in this game. That’s the biggest reason this game ended the way it did. The Cardinals are still a young, flawed team, particularly on defense. However, if your defense is going to hold an opponent to twenty points then you should absolutely be winning those games. The Cardinals are not real contenders, yet. Give them one or two more years and they will be right at the top with the Chiefs, Saints, and Packers. As for the Patriots, Bill Belichick knows not of this plebeian act you lowly townsfolk call “tanking.” Bill Belichick knows only the art of maximizing what little talent he is given on a roster. That and hoodies with the sleeves cut off are awesome.
Carolina Panthers 27 - Minnesota Vikings 28
This was easily the best game of the week. Both teams showed up to work for this one. The game ended on a last second field goal miss. Every traumatized Vikings fan ever immediately didn’t know how to act as missed field goals are their thing. How dare the Panthers take that from them! The Vikings, in light of this are now making a very compelling case as a playoff outsider. They have turned into a completely different team since week seven. The Panthers on the other hand, did what they do every week seemingly. They competed tough but lost out in the end. The Panthers need a little more time but they are not far off from contending in the NFC South. They are a less talented version of the Cardinals with a more solid defense.
Tennessee Titans 45 - Indianapolis Colts 26
What we learned from this match-up was absolutely nothing. The game was never particularly close either. Derrick Henry made sure of that. The reason this game did not get relegated to the paragraph of shame is because of the fact this game ended in a similarly lopsided score just two weeks ago, and with the Colts winning. What this tells me is that the AFC South is a coin toss and that both of these teams are very good. Probably.
New York Giants 19 - Cincinnati Bengals 17
I hate that I have to highlight this but the Giants have won three straight games and lead the NFC Least. I mean East. That’s all there is to say about this. This game sucked but here we are. 2020 is the worst timeline.
San Francisco 49ers 23 - Los Angeles Rams 20
The Rams probably should have won this game. The Rams’ fans have been very quick to throw all the blame on Jared Goff, and while he deserves a massive amount of blame, the defense cannot be held completely blameless. Deebo Samuel made the Rams defense look like the Eagles defense, and the 49ers have been so injured there was no reason they should have lost this game. The Rams need to bounce back from this loss with a win next week because the race for the top of that division is going to be tight. Seattle is one game ahead of them and Arizona is only one game behind. The NFC West is easily the most entertaining division in all of football and it will be a joy to see how this thing twists and turns as the season carries forward.
Kansas City Chiefs 27 - Tampa Bay Buccaneers 24
Do not let the score fool you, this game was dominated for 95% of game time by the Chiefs. Patrick Mahomes decided to use this game to show the old man across the field why he is the best in the game and coming for that “greatest of all time” trophy the public handed him after Super Bowl number six. The Chiefs are winning it all this year. They basically laid down and died the second half of this game and still won without too much of a real threat. On the other side of the field, Tampa Bay continues its horrific backslide into the wildcard slots. I guess they can always end up as the five seed and play the winner of the NFC Least, I mean East. That would guarantee them a divisional round match which is a positive. Tom Brady just does not fit into the Bruce Arians’ system and Bruce is too old and stubborn to change it for a quarterback that's too old and stubborn to admit that he can't play in a system developed by a man that’s too old and stubborn to change the system he… do you see the problem in Tampa right now?